patchwork

shattered glass
we stain
mosaic forming
colourful broken
truthmap blooming
from my soul, yours to
slowly pull shards
sharp out from my chest
stomach, mind
suppressed stories
I tried to
break, burn, smash
only burrowed deeper
knotted fragments
held so long inside
freedom, spilling
all of it
you place
your hands lightly
on the snake winding
around my body
swallowing its tail
scars grown over
character
smashing psyche remnants
sharing fragments
we build our own
sri yantra
your shardpieces
fit alongside mine
coded art within our
deconstructed messes
peer into this abyss
my heart
slipping into spiralling
mandalas, we become
one
reborn rising
hand in hand
polychromatic ashes
all we’ve
ever loved
our colourscape
a masterpiece

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sunmachine

I like it consistent

tearing open the head

heartwings

spirit curlicues spreading

from all directions

out from me

can’t help but

break the ego

cracked like an egg

again

and again

letting go of

gooey entrails

spreading from

between my fingertips

practice baby

practice makes perfect

the fear of what

you might see

dark, deep

real parts

cider exchanges pain

the sheer shirt doesn’t

hide it

hornwing

can’t stop dancing

tiptoeing across

existential dread

limbo bent over

little thoughts

dangle out the psyche

never ending thread

swirling from the

centre of my forehead

knitted

little playthings

colours follow

through they

swirl, rainbow dragonflies

my insides

alien pixie

wings to set me free

distant lands

you can follow

if you please

All I Need

wet lotus, dripping
freedom February
spiderweb reflections
muses
to be
surrounded by
inspiration
it’s about the eyes
never really
been looked at
quite like that
it’s different
every time
that which cannot
be named
jinx
slipped into my skin
flowery, buttoned blouse
soft, green jacket
shiny concrete, Sneaks
tequila, nachos
lost friends
amigos
two lions, Leos
boundary blossoming garden
surrounding my heart
fragile centre, flowering
held
atop the
bank tower
humid, mid-winter post-rain
magic, spring evening
curated
ladder descending
back down to earth
practical, don’t you
fall now
you looked in between
into the flower
while I sat atop
rejoicing our liberty
soft gaze
mind-bend into me
special gem
(but why do I have to put on clothes?)
sprawled
into the late afternoon
perfect, curving
slipped so nicely
small cave
inward, it’s over
the search
fallen away
left with
how you sighed

delay

little soul

likes to

vocalize

aches

dance

pain

she wants to

hold you

let you breathe

big heavy sighs

honey builds stories

tall towers

inevitable, a tumble

dreamscapes, imaginings

kinetic blocks of sound and colour

she builds them these

sentimental eruptions

that fall to pieces

they must

we all fall

to put and end to

these huge explosions

pointless

wouldn’t it be nice

eschewing sentiment and feeling

love is madness, chaos

suffering perspective

the pain could stop

but then, the pleasure goes too

carpediem

when your eyes
went sideways
and your mother said
"we lost him"
I never realized
what that really meant
neck clench, limb twist
"call 9-11"
nothing like it
not a fucking thing remotely
like this
"stay with me"
she said
while I had your head
in my lap
bloody mess
when you see a woman
in the zone
her baby on the ground
man
infinite content through
every neural pathway
I've got you
I've got you
that gutteral cry when you
turn in the middle of the night
after coming home
from emerge
twice again
mouth clamped
limbs spinning when you
come out
you saw me in waves
held hands
yours twisted
reaching through a dream
good god damn
didn't know where he
was going
but he knew he was there
knew for a moment
it comes and goes in waves
then the day is
forever gone
but I see you
coming back slowly
I never realized
this slow strange
process of breaking open
my heart
meant nights at St. Mike's
colouring books
untying the hospital gown
to scratch your back
the greatest joy when
you have
a sporadic, patterned itch
not a seizure again
I'll handle that
silent communication, eyes glazed
terror if I have to though
I'm prepared now
damn what a way
to meet your fam
but I'm glad
we can be
brain-fizzed cuddlebuds
when someone goes
down a rabbit hole of
grandeur like you have
dear man
I'll be your best goddamn friend

phantomdream

delirious bliss, panting
on top
that feeling when you
realize you did it
now you can exhale
goosebumps
over oceans
alone and empty
a vessel, a breath
like open windows
cool summer breezes
the smell of cedar and smoke
the soft sound of fingertips
hitting characters
water boiling
bird sounds
planting seeds
watch me
fall in love
with the world
come
time expanding like
an open chalice
heartwide
sunshine dripping out
the windowpane
home again
sweet space
between nature, nurture
ripples in the skyline
safe earthly haven
awaiting

hazecitron

call me
sometime
Adam in
the garden
of midsummer eve
today
just wanted to feel
that round plastic on
my hips one more time
droppin' tears
droppin' seeds
suntime, this is it
when I'm
most alive
keep dancin'
to throw
'em off but
gotta cry
as soon as
I'm alone
afraid to get cut
open again
I told 'em
to take it out
what the fuck else
could anyone want
I cannot
I brushed my hair
today in the mirror
in my bra
and underwear
wet dreams
reminded of a time
in high school
young
doing my hair
makeup
kilt to my knees
multicoloured
ribbony scrunchies
blue and green
eyeshadows imagining
to myself
someday I'll be older
grown out
pretty
have a boyfriend
a motorcycle
it's funny
better in some ways
freedom is how
you perceive
your life
I can blend
disappear
I know
stay strong
but damn
five surgeries in
and hey
I got this
kinda don't
shaking
I'll dance one more time
and I'll cry

how ya feel?
how ya feel?