hazecitron

call me
sometime
Adam in
the garden
of midsummer eve
today
just wanted to feel
that round plastic on
my hips one more time
droppin' tears
droppin' seeds
suntime, this is it
when I'm
most alive
keep dancin'
to throw
'em off but
gotta cry
as soon as
I'm alone
afraid to get cut
open again
I told 'em
to take it out
what the fuck else
could anyone want
I cannot
I brushed my hair
today in the mirror
in my bra
and underwear
wet dreams
reminded of a time
in high school
young
doing my hair
makeup
kilt to my knees
multicoloured
ribbony scrunchies
blue and green
eyeshadows imagining
to myself
someday I'll be older
grown out
pretty
have a boyfriend
a motorcycle
it's funny
better in some ways
freedom is how
you perceive
your life
I can blend
disappear
I know
stay strong
but damn
five surgeries in
and hey
I got this
kinda don't
shaking
I'll dance one more time
and I'll cry

how ya feel?
how ya feel?

jellyking summer

jerkin it off 

wide eyed 

to the sunrise

won’t lie

but 

I’ll hide mine

if you hide yours 

rose tinted frames babe

let’s not 

I’d rather 

get lost

down every road 

follow me

or don’t 

love is easy

we all know

I do strange things

attract strange types

can’t help but find 

the walls exhale out 

towards aquatic expanses 

I walk to the water

always towards the water 

where you feel 

disoriented like you’re not

quite where you were just 

a moment ago 

got an imagination 

take the Empress like a pirate

portals, pathways

if you knew the spirits

that mingled in my words

evil ways babe 

you’d have let me

run away long

so long ago 

makehave

hot damn

god lit 

the sky 

with our eyescape

time, human 

invention 

oh my

distance, perception 

streetcar 

metro

little oval window

fastrack 

past wondering 

why

meshed neurological 

skycrack to

your mouth 

open

sweet nectarine 

juicy

feel the scars in me

been cut 

help yourself

inside and 

when you’re gone 

cruising long paved stretches

think of this 

time is a dream

liquid, fertile 

seeds in soil

strum it while

I’m panting here 

spinning 

whirling dervish kitten 

put it 

onto my shivering 

open blossom

I’ll come

to kiss you again and against

white birch and cedar

I promise

lakelaps

got the blues 

but the blues ain’t got me 

naked, open window 

curtainless

let ’em see

need some time 

away 

when I watch the ferry 

depart and arrive

arrive and depart 

I can predict 

this is going 

nowhere fast 

I tell myself

violent beginnings

have violent ends 

but damn 

these tepid waters 

can hardly make a 

splash 

on dirty needs

deepdreams

go before 

go before the curtains close 

distance pedalled 

flame fading

like a sodden cigarette 

never underestimate 

the voices in your 

gut

what made you say what

choices 

Heartbeats

slippin’
I’ll just keep on
stay with this
ice snow drifts
wheels runnin’ in the dirt
want me to fix it
I’m tired, a kitten
alternating realities, this
psychosomatic whirlwind
it’s feeding
the lights could be dimmer
draining,
succulence
plant ginger, plant garlic
perhaps it could grow
in the frigid window
really
just focus, breathing
avocado stay moist
one day, just maybe
you’ll become a tree
our thoughts turn
to words
symbols, reality
sewing seeds
when we talk about
escapades, reveries
little curlicues of stories
open to windows
to worlds
thank you for sharing
music with me
your soul
your laughter
have a nip
a taste of that
sweet nectar
with me

Wander

duality dribbling
trying to disconnect
from the illusory circuit
cyclical, all of it
a matter of recognition
when I see the same teachings
dressed in dark shadows
and fanciful costumes
a preoccupation from
noticing the obscurities
clinging to the corners
like dangling cobwebs
a jumbled pattern is
what it all boils down to
we are what we do
and some things are a virtue
the wander will continue
we are not static
the feelings are
simply sensations
drifting inside and out
of a quivering fleshbag
the antidote is always
to drift from that place
from the monkey emotions
to find serenity in the elements
in mountains, in the forest

The Shogun Stayed Inside His Castle

 

I am drugs.
Chemical reactions exploding within me seeping
Through my vessels, dripping out of my eyelids.
While I sit in silence after
You told me I looked frumpy in this dress.

I get sick from feeling so severely.
My skull an open bowl brimming with
Stories spilling out beyond the edges of my sanity.
Wishing words from a bourbon drenched mouth
Didn’t have quite this affect on me.

You wake me at 4 in the morning
Feeling strange, like you can’t breathe.
My reaction numb with dreamy obscurities.
If these really are your last words
I hope that you’re choosing them carefully.

When infected by pathogenic strains
The skull comes dangerously close to the brain.
Like ingesting psychedelic fungi
Making prior perceptions mundane and illusory.
Reality is but a gaseous reaction bubbling in the psyche.

From this truth comes the crux of my writing.
My dependence on an altered reality and your disease
Brought us both to the base of Pneuma Mountain.
Your illness, you called it a gift, a time frame
It rekindles my urgency to pen the final apex scene.