lakelaps

got the blues 

but the blues ain’t got me 

naked, open window 

curtainless

let ’em see

need some time 

away 

when I watch the ferry 

depart and arrive

arrive and depart 

I can predict 

this is going 

nowhere fast 

I tell myself

violent beginnings

have violent ends 

but damn 

these tepid waters 

can hardly make a 

splash 

on dirty needs

deepdreams

go before 

go before the curtains close 

distance pedalled 

flame fading

like a sodden cigarette 

never underestimate 

the voices in your 

gut

what made you say what

choices 

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playd8

smile bright 

god is sunshine

melting laughter

out the gutter 

something right 

weak hands 

kisses, hugs

keeping straight faced

getting high 

rolling circles 

round my cuboid 

you’re not a big drinker 

and I get so serious 

don’t know what time it was 

lookin’ so perfect 

high hopes

though there’s fire 

burning in the distance 

forever after 

doesn’t exist 

groovy 

baby spin it 

forget 

like the first time 

like the last time 

right now 

right now we got sunshine 

god is light reflecting

off your eyes 

unravel

the greatest thing 

you did 

was let go 

(the timing will

never feel right)

tried to hold on

to fingertips

(appropriately my

palms drip)

emotions pour 

from my pores

everything feeling

reactive

hypersensitive 

too curious 

goosebumps swept up 

in stories and strong words

slowly the spiral of learning

the beauty of letting it all

fall away into sequences 

chapters, looking back at

the scenes but not being able

to edit 

I’ll never forget banging

those poles into ground 

dust still in the 

crevices of my flip-flops 

but this isn’t right now 

breathe 

I follow through 

I will fall again 

my love is 

a deep well

for drinking and I

can dip into it over

and over 

consistent and flowing dark

it takes a certain type of 

animal outside of me 

to want this wet

patience 

hair-raising

tingling, fingertips 

(it comes again)

I will find the woods

many times been 

etching this pattern 

of habits in my psyche 

for years 

and will continue 

following the maze 

of pleasure

(did you feel the pulse)

thank you for 

opening doors into me 

that can’t be closed

thank you for leaving me

in silence 

only to hear the echoes

(of dreams that can become real)

reverberating off 

the ponderosas 

passionflower

blooming into

the soft unknown 

from dirt 

from dark

falling outwards 

into the sunlight

unravelling 

a shortcut out

a window 

the bigger picture

the passionflower inside 

takes over and I 

blossom 

don’t let the fear stop you

don’t let the fear

they might eat you alive

but you were planted 

we were 

paradigm

used to pray

rosary beads

spider gods 

extraterrestrial

jiggly elephants

dark, gapingness 

wide-eyed

waiting for nothing

mandalas

the magical mystery bus 

the centre of 

meaningless 

but when moonlight

creeps down the staircase 

there’s beauty again

when flowers bloom

feeling sunlight, music

good sex

I believe if I shed 

it all, my skin 

white, shiny wet 

bones and pumping heart 

beauty is quick 

passing moments 

shifts in perspective 

beneath frail words

tapered lifestyles on screens

sculpted thoughts 

just wanna pop that 

juicy blackberry 

in my mouth 

and forget 

let go of it

a spiralling world 

of beliefs, pretty things

hold on to the 

shiny gold tassel of good

the kind ones 

soft hearts 

acceptance

we are okay

just the way we are 

without filter