Friday the 13th

ride aside me stone

growing from below

inhale myself

cut up

haven’t been found

trying to be

pure as morphine

through an IV

why didn’t you look?

why were you so close?

she’s in shock

let her be, call 9-11

the cops’ll show

five hours later

everyone’s gone home

no valet driver

strung out and restless

vomiting codeine

black eyed

greened cheeked

be fine in a few

sure modified duties

makes a lawyer laugh

a guttural one

we’ll call you back

can’t work without

two hands

dos cervezas por favor

karmically comical

this spinning wheel of mine

just hoping the hoop made

my wing strong enough

to fly again soon

seems like my soft side

to the left

likes getting cut open

again and again

esoteric witches call it

my feminine

variations of me prepared

while others didn’t, not for this

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teahouse

mind games fall aside

when you see them

small, little person

gliding along the edges of

the grandiose ma

her jagged, curvaceous

monstrosity of a soul

incapsulating all

massive biodome, jutting

pyramids, swirling aqua

sparkling around

shimmering sandbanks

hundred thousand year old

dirty ice hunks

you want to lick

if this mountain were a woman, I’d ask her to sit on my face.

fuck overpriced parking spots

fancy hotels, air-mattresses

just pull in to the Great Divide

slide beside the German or Dutch tourists they can watch through their fancy RV window

while I slice this

white duct-taped piece of plastic

in millions of circles

through the air

pull down the seats

lay out blankets

listen to Blind Willie Johnson

and drink bourbon

when the wildfire smoke

cleared away and I could really

see Her Majesty

when I could really feel you

hypersensitive, my heart

softens to your touch

cold rocks and soft skin

overwhelming

the sheer sight of your nakedness

stretching for miles

dancing dust

hold my hand, my soul

carpediem

when your eyes
went sideways
and your mother said
"we lost him"
I never realized
what that really meant
neck clench, limb twist
"call 9-11"
nothing like it
not a fucking thing remotely
like this
"stay with me"
she said
while I had your head
in my lap
bloody mess
when you see a woman
in the zone
her baby on the ground
man
infinite content through
every neural pathway
I've got you
I've got you
that gutteral cry when you
turn in the middle of the night
after coming home
from emerge
twice again
mouth clamped
limbs spinning when you
come out
you saw me in waves
held hands
yours twisted
reaching through a dream
good god damn
didn't know where he
was going
but he knew he was there
knew for a moment
it comes and goes in waves
then the day is
forever gone
but I see you
coming back slowly
I never realized
this slow strange
process of breaking open
my heart
meant nights at St. Mike's
colouring books
untying the hospital gown
to scratch your back
the greatest joy when
you have
a sporadic, patterned itch
not a seizure again
I'll handle that
silent communication, eyes glazed
terror if I have to though
I'm prepared now
damn what a way
to meet your fam
but I'm glad
we can be
brain-fizzed cuddlebuds
when someone goes
down a rabbit hole of
grandeur like you have
dear man
I'll be your best goddamn friend

phantomdream

delirious bliss, panting
on top
that feeling when you
realize you did it
now you can exhale
goosebumps
over oceans
alone and empty
a vessel, a breath
like open windows
cool summer breezes
the smell of cedar and smoke
the soft sound of fingertips
hitting characters
water boiling
bird sounds
planting seeds
watch me
fall in love
with the world
come
time expanding like
an open chalice
heartwide
sunshine dripping out
the windowpane
home again
sweet space
between nature, nurture
ripples in the skyline
safe earthly haven
awaiting

hazecitron

call me
sometime
Adam in
the garden
of midsummer eve
today
just wanted to feel
that round plastic on
my hips one more time
droppin' tears
droppin' seeds
suntime, this is it
when I'm
most alive
keep dancin'
to throw
'em off but
gotta cry
as soon as
I'm alone
afraid to get cut
open again
I told 'em
to take it out
what the fuck else
could anyone want
I cannot
I brushed my hair
today in the mirror
in my bra
and underwear
wet dreams
reminded of a time
in high school
young
doing my hair
makeup
kilt to my knees
multicoloured
ribbony scrunchies
blue and green
eyeshadows imagining
to myself
someday I'll be older
grown out
pretty
have a boyfriend
a motorcycle
it's funny
better in some ways
freedom is how
you perceive
your life
I can blend
disappear
I know
stay strong
but damn
five surgeries in
and hey
I got this
kinda don't
shaking
I'll dance one more time
and I'll cry

how ya feel?
how ya feel?

jellyking summer

jerkin it off 

wide eyed 

to the sunrise

won’t lie

but 

I’ll hide mine

if you hide yours 

rose tinted frames babe

let’s not 

I’d rather 

get lost

down every road 

follow me

or don’t 

love is easy

we all know

I do strange things

attract strange types

can’t help but find 

the walls exhale out 

towards aquatic expanses 

I walk to the water

always towards the water 

where you feel 

disoriented like you’re not

quite where you were just 

a moment ago 

got an imagination 

take the Empress like a pirate

portals, pathways

if you knew the spirits

that mingled in my words

evil ways babe 

you’d have let me

run away long

so long ago 

makehave

hot damn

god lit 

the sky 

with our eyescape

time, human 

invention 

oh my

distance, perception 

streetcar 

metro

little oval window

fastrack 

past wondering 

why

meshed neurological 

skycrack to

your mouth 

open

sweet nectarine 

juicy

feel the scars in me

been cut 

help yourself

inside and 

when you’re gone 

cruising long paved stretches

think of this 

time is a dream

liquid, fertile 

seeds in soil

strum it while

I’m panting here 

spinning 

whirling dervish kitten 

put it 

onto my shivering 

open blossom

I’ll come

to kiss you again and against

white birch and cedar

I promise