humans

feed it

these certain aspects 

ratios of time they’re 

moments 

it’s like you gotta grab

’em by the handlebars 

because they’re

aspects where you 

might try to hide 

try to change your fate 

we aren’t given the

choices we create

am I asleep

is it up to me 

love is not a controlled substance

it slips in like fentanyl 

I lost my patience 

yesterday but I

see no escape from 

questions without answers 

and yeah I’ll talk 

stories are meant to be told

I won’t draw draw draw 

it’s just I want 

I wanted it for an hour 

the greatest gift

would only be 

a lifetime 

and that’s so hard to find 

damn

I’ll draw it

I’ll believe deep down 

even though the jaded 

shattered shit keeps 

poking in my 

elevator going up 

tender take it for a ride 

good times

take it

in the 

when does it 

come

alms for the universe 

the busted heartwhite sweat 

I’ll give it 

all my life

be my life 

just a satellite 

can be 

can’t be without you 

love

burntorange

jazzbar

dress neatly hung 

on the bedframe 

amaretto sours 

small, hidden facets

on a sparkling stone

or a gem every twist

opens another place 

for the light to reflect

pink flashes swelter from 

stormy skies 

finding pleasure

warm hands slide

like wheels 

gliding pressures 

comfortable silence enough

to watch the sunset

break out from

cacophonous clouds

kickback in the sky

smoking pinners 

orange haze drifting 

across naked

sunburnt skin

earlywake

got back to cold Toronto

from the hills of California 

got used to the bright nights 

laughter, hollers

moonlight didn’t feel like a 

beacon to wake up 

stranger hours 

Petri dish 

city mindsets creeping 

permeating thin veils 

how I am

composed 

came back with a game plan 

won’t get wrapped up in the

dogclimb, panting race

of nowhere and nothing

can’t forget the voice 

I found when

I began to wander 

now it all depends on no one 

but myself I’m

feeling surrounded

but patient and I’ll

enjoy the food, music, markets

culture, spaces for me to move

with others, play

it’s been a long time since I 

had a summer in this city 

four years

and I’ll always have the 

back burner pot 

simmering with grander landscapes 

it always comes back around 

back around 

always 

plenti

final destinations flickering

dancing like kerosene lampflames

I can’t

get into it I keep it

getting hot and then 

the fuelgage burns empty

lingering fumes 

escape sizzleswirl in my psyche 

impermanence like a trinket

I flip along my fingers 

just a coin or a trick 

a matchstick 

an idea I take comfort in 

play it cool, don’t get so worked up 

got a running kind of reputation 

every year I look back and think

damn, I never thought

I have to prepare 

for the next tectonic shift 

in these perceptual landscapes

any heart kinda oblivion

stomach curdling attraction is 

best ripped away like a bandaid 

I could invest in myself 

could disappear 

the wind grows cold, then it’s hot

in a bed and some blouses 

sometimes I crave the sounds of the ocean 

and I don’t want help to find 

a way 

but I know what happens when 

roots slip through the rubber 

of wornout black and pink Nike’s 

they break, they get trampled 

they turn into dust ’cause 

I can’t stay still

so instead I’ll invest 

in a seven dollar dress and 

watch scarface 

kraken, ginger beer, lime

everything I’ve done 

it comes around and I 

take as much as I give

I like to think I’m kind I

I hear

the me that’s keeping me alive 

I hear

the me that wants to run away

and all we do 

all we do is change 

sassdance

can’t decide between

sandalwood, bergamot 

who I want

picky picky 

princess 

cowboy boots, olive green dress 

mid afternoon omelettes 

been open, been waiting

heart’s scarred up

literally, figuratively 

chin up, lady 

you are queen 

little happy daisy growing

inside of me

soul like soil planting seeds 

spring winds got me feelin’ sassy

silencio 

latenight garlic crushin’

thyme, pomegranate, mint

quick-sear the lamb chops

browned butter drips

sippin’ rosè from a mason jar

smoke drifts out the shattered window

said she’ll fix it tomorrow 

said he wasn’t hungry but

the bones shine clean

the pendulums swinging low 

now I can catch it with one hand

and wrap my legs around the 

clock parts of the machinum of time 

and make it shudder in its 

slow, determined patterns 

ride the wave of passing moments 

in my turquoise jeans and Wu-Tang sweater

sparkin’ a space monkey spliff 

makes me think that maybe 

when we die we’re just waking up

from a dream 

from a matrix of fresh bread, soft puppies, merry-go-rounds, alien movies, bicycles, thunderstorms, green tea ice cream, sandy beaches, butterflies, narwhals, quilts, kisses, knee scrapes, matchbooks, quails and tents in the forest 

and then it’s something else entirely 

lonelull

shaking satisfaction in the quiet

scattered gasps inhaling to

the soft mouths of no one

finding the fine point 

of balance between two circles 

undulating at different speeds 

along my palms

when reiki and coconut milk

don’t work 

but sodium bicarbonate does 

fuck white people music

put on that Memphis rap while I 

finely slice mangos into diamonds 

on the living room floor 

push blueberries into bottles

pinch up fresh rosemary 

while words are slung seductively

about eating ‘dat perfect pussay

top it up with that bubbly tea 

let me pour you stone fruit cider 

or cultured swirling ginger beers

feeling slightly fermented while I 

stare at the window out to the alley

drunk cries of delight seep out 

from the edges of glass and drip

into the deep baseline that lulls me

even though this city doesn’t sleep 

she only blinks her eyes

for one hot second 

while the soft pink moon slips her 

hips out from the rain clouds 

and I find peace in the soft tap

of the streetcar pattering 

like a heartbeat 

peace in the hollow empty

of waking up on the couch at 

6:11 in the morning 

patience is not a common quality 

for kittens like me but when I 

slip into my soft, pillowy blankets and sheets

I find peace