carpediem

when your eyes
went sideways
and your mother said
"we lost him"
I never realized
what that really meant
neck clench, limb twist
"call 9-11"
nothing like it
not a fucking thing remotely
like this
"stay with me"
she said
while I had your head
in my lap
bloody mess
when you see a woman
in the zone
her baby on the ground
man
infinite content through
every neural pathway
I've got you
I've got you
that gutteral cry when you
turn in the middle of the night
after coming home
from emerge
twice again
mouth clamped
limbs spinning when you
come out
you saw me in waves
held hands
yours twisted
reaching through a dream
good god damn
didn't know where he
was going
but he knew he was there
knew for a moment
it comes and goes in waves
then the day is
forever gone
but I see you
coming back slowly
I never realized
this slow strange
process of breaking open
my heart
meant nights at St. Mike's
colouring books
untying the hospital gown
to scratch your back
the greatest joy when
you have
a sporadic, patterned itch
not a seizure again
I'll handle that
silent communication, eyes glazed
terror if I have to though
I'm prepared now
damn what a way
to meet your fam
but I'm glad
we can be
brain-fizzed cuddlebuds
when someone goes
down a rabbit hole of
grandeur like you have
dear man
I'll be your best goddamn friend

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s